support
by Fruityloo
Summary: rintori week day 3: first kiss. "It isn't often that Rin shares his doubts but when he does, Nitori is there." cross-uploaded on ao3


"But you have me, Rin-senpai, and you have the whole swim t-" he can see the hurt in Rin's eyes and he wants to comfort him. He wants to assure him that he's loved and has friends and support just like Haru and the others. Nitori is good at reaching Rin, better than the captain or anyone else on the team, and that's why he's always sent to pick Rin up on bad days. He _wants_ to pick him up, always, but tonight his words just aren't getting through. They're sitting side by side on Rin's bunk but it feels like they're worlds apart and that hurts

"No, it's different," Rin says before Nitori has a chance to finish, and the words go straight through his heart, a clean puncture that cauterizes on its way through; doesn't kill but it still _hurts_. He can't respond because he's too busy biting his lip to keep from crying. This isn't about him. _It's not_. But he cares so much about Rin, so freaking much. Hearing he doesn't quite feel the same is like a stab through the heart and a punch to the gut all at once. He really wants to cry.

Rin doesn't even look at him, but he continues talking as if he is and Nitori supposes that's something.

"You make everyone better just by being there, and I- all I ever do is swim and you-" Rin's voice catches on what appears to be nothing, but Nitori knew enough to see the tears, and - _crap_, Rin is crying and Nitori has only seen that once before. Suddenly everything makes a little more sense. He can't believe how stupid Rin is being, but it's so very like him, insisting he isn't good enough.

"Senpai," Nitori says to get his attention but he doesn't even look up, too busy staring at the wall and pretending he's not choking back tears. He tries again. "Rin," a little more forceful – forceful for Nitori, anyway – and this time it does catch his attention.

Rin looks up. He doesn't look like he's about to cry anymore. His face is neutral, as neutral as he can manage, but Nitori hates that even more. Rin spends too much time ignoring his emotions and not enough time dealing with them.

Now it's Nitori's turn to feel nervous. He reaches out with both arms, hesitates once, almost draws his hands back but all it takes is the thought of Rin crying and he pushes through. He rests them on either side of Rin's face, forcing him to meet his eyes. It's so very strange, being this forward when his nature is to stand back and fidget, but seeing Rin so upset makes him feel like he should be strong, so he persists. This is important.

"You know you're amazing, right?"

Rin blinks, last remnants of tears spilling down his cheeks, silent. Nitori thinks he sees shock.

He smiles, not the bright _I've been noticed!_ smile that is so common on his face. It's a little softer, a bit more personal, but just as genuine. "Half the swim team looks up to you," he pauses, looks down in thought then shakes his head. When he looks back up he's wearing his usual smile, the blinding _You're amazing!_ smile. "No, the whole swim team looks up to you!"

"But-" Nitori fixes him with a look; not scolding or angry but it quiets Rin nonetheless.

"And... yeah, you might not be as close to the swim team as they are with each other," Rin is staring at him now, listening intently. He doesn't even flinch when Nitori mentions _them_ and he takes that as a good sign, "But they've know each other for forever, and you've only been here a year. I think you need to give it time. Friendship doesn't happen overnight," he nods sagely, a little over the top but it seems to be what Rin needs. He doesn't laugh outright, doesn't smile, but there's more life in his eyes than before, and he's not holding back tears anymore. Nitori feels incredibly satisfied and _glad_, so, so glad that he can reach out to Rin like this... and that Rin is reaching back.

"And..." Nitori says quietly, raising onto his knees and leaning closer to Rin, using the hands he still has on either side of Rin's face to help support him. He doesn't look Rin in the eyes. Nitori's are closed. "... you have me."

They kiss, soft but with little hesitance. He can feel Rin' surprise clearly but also his compliance. He doesn't pull away and, after a moment, he kisses back, just as soft, a little more unsure than Nitori and _that's_ a surprise because Nitori is shaking.

A hand comes up, settles on Nitori's cheek and beckons him to tilt his head, encouraging a deeper kiss; he complies not with eagerness, but with confidence, and everything feels so right that he's amazed Rin had any doubts about himself or their friendship or their – well, this isn't really friendship, is it? – in the first place.


End file.
